searching for

How much longer can my battered heart beat?

How many more relationships does it take
Before all resolve is broken and hope is lost?
How many times do I have to start over
And how much more pain must I bear?

Trudging down the trying path of love
I have long since lost sight of the goal
Where does it lead to and what am I searching for?
A great love? Kids? Someone else’s fantasy?

An answer that can never be found.

A Slice of Pain

I don’t know what to tell you
Not sure how to piece my words together
Distracted by thoughts of you
Running around like cockroaches in my head

That confession replaying like a broken record
I was mentally prepared but my mind was a blank
The hurting numbed my head
The cut was deep, too deep

The Green-eye Monster Speaks Up

Greed and selfishness are inherent in human nature. Yes, we like to possess and hang on to things. We don’t like to share. That’s why we expect monogamy in relationships.

Expectations of monogamy once turned me into a crazy, possessive bitch (which, as you can guess, killed my relationship that would otherwise have been great and lasted forever). It was a side of me that I never knew existed, very scary. Determined not to let that possessive side of me see the light of day ever again, I threw out all my girlish fantasies about love and decided to pursue eternal platonic friendships instead. Soon I realize having eternal platonic friendships is not a solution at all. Managing friendships to ensure they last forever is like having multiple relationships; it’s equally tiring and just as possessive, if not more. So why bother? Why even care? People come, people go. It’s beyond my control how long they’ll stay in my life. So why even try to hold on? It’s really not a bad idea to care less and let go. Just live for today, like there’s no tomorrow.